The World I Know
by kenpachi-sama
Summary: kandaxlavi-- lavi found something out that he can't live with, and kanda refuses to listen to his feelings! There may be some lemon:D
1. The World I Know

I do not own D. grey man

This is my first fanfic so don't hurt me if it sounds crappy and stuff like that.

This story is about the hyperactive lovable red head we all know and love!!

So, read and enjoy with no flames!!

What have you done to yourself? You are a pitiful lowlife. You are not supposed to love only to record. That is your destiny: to record history. Nothing more will you do. You are supposed to think that every human is trash and nothing more, or, as the bookmen say, ink that is used to write our history. How much ink does there have to be, to make you into that very same ink you are using? What makes you able to not love? You just record and that is all you are supposed to do. You are meant to walk this road. The road that is traveled by oh so many, you are supposed to walk that road with no second thoughts in mind. You are not supposed to think only listen. That is your job, your destiny.

I am here at the cliff where the head quarter is. I woke up this morning fooling everyone with my smile. My smile is only but a empty expression. My smile, no, my 49th personality's smile is only for show. I am not a person that deserves the precious gift of life, I deserve nothing and that is that. My destiny is set, and that is it. I walked to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. Ah, jerry's cooking smelled so wonderful. I wondered how he made the plainest food, soba for example, into a master piece. I wish I could do that: make everyone happy by doing something in there favor. I wish I wasn't on this cliff doing what I am going to do, but I know deep down it would solve so many problems if I just faded away in the history I was recording….

I was there waiting for the perfect time to jump, but then I thought of 'him'. Kanda Yuu was his name. His name enchanted every nerve in my body. I didn't like to use 'kanda' because it reminded me of panda. And, in thinking of 'pand' i thought of Granpa jiji. Yeah it freacked me out too. So, I always used Yu. He was stubern and didn't like it when I called him that. He had a first anme, why not use it!! He Sarted to ease up on the name, or I hoped. Maybe he finnaly accepted the 49th me will not give it up.

What is wrong with me, no the 49th me. why does he break so many rules to get what he wants, why? Why, did he break the most important rule you must never break as a bookman? to love, why was it forrbidin in the bookman clan. Who the hell came up with that rule anyways, damm. Why do things have to be so complicated? I love Kanda Yuu, no matter what. I just can't stop thinking about him. He's in my mind every day and night. When did I start to have these feelings for him? Why did I fall in love with a cold, loveable, samuri? If i didn't fall this deep in my own love for him, then i could have least seen him every day till I departed with the head quarters. Kanda Yuu, do you think of me the way I do you? Ha, now I really am kidding myself. Why would Kanda love me. I only a nusaince to him. So, why do I keep thinking about him. Why??

Meanwhile with Kanda...

Where the fuck is that bunny!! God, I couldn't even sleep because of him. Dammit! All night I was thinking about him, crap. That damm bunny is going to pay. i woke up five times from that retarted nightmare. Why does it concern me anyways if he dies. That stupid rabbit has nothing to do with me! Aw crap, why am I still thinking about him? after I got out of my fucking room, i went to go eat some soba for breakfest. On my way I would just scrowl at people to give them a warning that I am Pissed off. I sat down where I always do and eat. I kept thinking why I was dreaming about Lavi the usagi.

Lavi is such a baby: he always have that goofy grin on his face. Damm, that gets me so pissed off!! He has that stupid grin, that fucking red hair, and those soft, pink lips. Wait, what the fuck did I just think? No way, no way! I can't , I won't, I refuse to love him. no I am staight as a pole, or so I hope so...

Then something caught the edge my eye...


	2. Came Crashing Down

The damm Lavi I was just thinking about, was there leaving the lunch room. Oh, he is not going to get away from me. I am going to kill him for giving me these fucking retarted feelings. The soba didn't matter anymore, killing lavi did. So, I left my soba on the table at sarted to follow lavi. Good thing I know how to sneek up on people. (I would call that stalking a person) Where is the little fuck-tard going? And, what the hell is he doing way out here.

lavi:

Kanda...the only person I will never say goodbye to, but I am here doing what I fear most: leaving the person I ever truly loved. Bookmen are nothing but fools. They do nothing but record, assholes. What is so great about knowing some dead guy. its not like your going to talk to them or something.( and I Personally add that to History classes they just suck!!) When was the first time I felt this way. When did Kanda suddenly apear into my mind. It was on that day I made my way into head quarters. The very first sight of him made me breathless. his long hair, those deep, blue eyes, and that lonly expression that was on his face. At first I thought he was a girl!! Like litteraly who wouldn't? When was the last time you've seen a guy with long hair? He first intoduced himself as 'Kanda' and that made me think of 'panda'. And, that got me to think of Granpa Jiji. The I imagened him with a bikini on. That just scared the fuck out of me!! So, then I remembered that Sister complex guy saying something about a "Kanda Yuu". There that was his name. After he intoduced himself, i said, " Nice to meet you, Yuu..." When his name rolled off my lips, i got a shitty sword pointed to my face. Crap, I got myself screwed over! When the could blade touched my tender skin Kanda said, " Who in the fucking hell said you can fucking call me by my given name, Baka Usagi!!" He was mad and I am not kiding. Who would get mad enough to threten you with a sword. But, that him all the more intesting to me...

kanda:

I, like an idiot, was hidding behind a tree, thinking. Why did I have that shitty dream in the first place? And, I can still remember every detail about it.

Dream:

_My loutus was in my hands, with one last petal. the other petals withered away in a second and turned to ash. that last petal held my dear life in place, that one last petal. After i looked at my dieing soul, I looked up. I saw Lavi at the brink of tears. He came walking to me. I was just frozen of what was happining. He gentaly placed his arm around me, putting me in a protective embrace. He looked up to look me in the eyes. He said In a faint wispere, "I will never let you die" I was shocked when I felt his lips touch mine. I was dazed and surprised that I was enjoying myself. He took his lips off mine, and took me out of his embrace. I looked down to see my loutus with all its petals. I looked up to see Lavi. He then said, "Good bye..." As he said that, he soon turned to ash. The only thing I had to remember him by was the feeling he gave me that no one else could give._

Kanda:

Damm, I can't fucking belive I am saying this, but I love him. Crap, now I can't tease Komui for acting gay because I am gay.Shit, I would rather let my skin burn then tell that asshole Usagi i love him. Hell, I can't say I like him because knowing him he would proberly tease me infront of the intire head quarters. because I knew one thing: that Lavi was absolutly not gay!!...

Lavi:

I can't be a burden to the bookmen before me. I noticed the day I acted as Lavi I was in fact Lavi, body and soul. And, nothing is going to change that. Everyone will be sad when I die, yet the will heal in time and soon forget me like the others I befriended befor I became lavi. Everyone will forget, and soon be more joyus when I am gone, exspecialy Kanda.

As soon as that thought, without hesitation, Lavi jumped to meet his end, with Kanda watching his every move...


	3. But, In An Instant

Kanda:

I can't belive he's making me feel this way that asshole...Wait, what the fuck is he doing. Right there in front of his eyes, he saw the goofy, carefree, annoying Lavi jump off the cliff. He somehow had a sad expression on his face. He did not know why, but he ran to save him. Yet, fate had other things instored for them. Kanda, didn't get there fast enough to catch him. he did the only thing he could do: he jumped. Lavi was unconsious when he started falling. Kanda swooped him and had a strong hold of him. He pulled his trusted sword from his side. And, he stapped it into the cliff. he was luckly and the didn't fall. Great, he thought, how in the hell am I going to get up this cliff with this fucking dead wait pulling me down? so he acted fast and put lavi over his sholder and started to climb the cliff, cursing all the way. Why the hell did I do ths? I was going to kill him, right? So, why did I save the fucking bunny's life. Heres the brain hurter, why did he jump off the cliff? What was he doing? What made him jump? And, Why the fuck am I worried, I could care less!! Yet, I still am, shit. When Kanda reached the top, he throw lavi over then himself. they were both finnaly safe.

Kanda, looked at lavi, and gentaly pressed two fingers against lavi's neak. Good, there was a pulse. I put him down carefully to see his eye open. he looks at me in shock. then he wispeared, "Why, why am I not dead?" this schocked me even more. why the hell would lavi want to die? I got even more pissed off when he smiled, I snapped and shouted, "What the fuck is wrong with you, you asshole? Why did you fucking jump, baka usagi?!"He swayed a little bit, then he put his hand over my chest. I had no fucking clue what that meant, so I was getting irritated! I was about to yell at him when he fell unconsious. Damm.

Lavi's dream:

_Why am I running, where am I going? I know I have to run away, but from what am I running for? Before me stood a clock, with its hand are still. It never moved. It only stood still in time. I asked myself, if my time has already givin up. Am I dead and this is the hell that will engulf me. Or, will I die in the irrritation of the too quiet manner. Wait somethings not right. I can't even feel my heart beat. An image of Grapa Jiji stood before me and said, "What heart Lavi, you nevr had a heart. You only act to have one only to record our history. Remember, lavi, all humens are fools!!" Granpa Jiji faded away, and was left confused. Did I ever have a heart to begin with? Is my Love for Kanda only one-sided. Wait, no that can't be, my love for him is skin-deep. Nothing can happen for me not to stop loving him. No matter how hard I will try, I can't forget these feelings for him. Kanda Yuu, Is the person who makes love sick. I don't care about being a bookman, all I care about is being with Yuu. Kanda, the heartless man, why did I fall in love with him? Yet, I can't see me loving anyone else exept for him. Is it something about him that makes him diffrent from the others? Or, maybe it is just love that can't be defined by any means..._

Two hours later after the incident. Kanda:

That damm rabbit is till in bed. God. Why did Komiu demand that I stay with Lavi. Man, when Lavi wakes up, Komiu is going to be mince meat!! Lavi turned to his side, still sleepimg. Wow, he looks so peacefull, and why the hell did I just think that?? God, I am still getting these stupid feelings for him. Lavi stured from within the bed and slowly opened his eye. He is so screwed!! "Oi, Usagi, Why in the fucking hell did you fucking jump off that shitty cliff??" When Me looked at me he had a tear in his eye and said, "Why, Yuu? Why did you save me?" I was in hell of a shock, so then I asked again,"Why did you want to die you retard? Alot of people who have fucking ass missed you!!" He pulled up his hand and pressed it against my cheek ever so lightly and said, "Yuu, you know we bookman can't have hearts, but I grow one anyway. I didn't want to ruine the bookmen reputation, and I already knew that the person I loved would never accept me." I don't know why I wasn't pointing my sword at him right now for touching me. Maybe it was because it felt so good. "Oi, Usagi who's the damm bastered that you like anyhow?" I asked him this out of curiosty. Maybe he did have feelings for Leenalee. Crap. Why am I fucking concerned? Lavi pulled my face towards his and said, "I can't tell you right now, but I can show you!" Then He filled up the space that seprated us. Lavi's lips were soft, warm, and gave me a shocking feeling. I didn't notice that I enjoyed the kiss, until I put my arm around his neck to to put us even closer. Right then and there, he started to bit my lip , and that made me gasp. Lavi used this opratunity to slide his tongue into my mouth. I moaned so ever softly. His taste, his touch made me realize. I longed for his touch for so lond and I didn't even notice. Lavi moved his arm down my back. It felt like heaven! We broke apart because of the lack of air. He looked into my eyes and I looked into his eye. Then Lavi looked shocked. He pointed to timicampy(that records) that had a good view of the kiss. Shit. But, Lavi put his arms on my sholders to redirect my attention to him. He moved closer to my ear, and said in a husky tone, "Kand Yuu, I love you, but is this right?" That was the first time I lost my words. I didn't know what to say. So I told him what was right. "Lavi I..I..

To Be continued...


	4. The World We Knew

...I dont't care about what anyone thinks because.." I gentaly wispeared in his ear, "I.. love... you, lavi." Lavi froze when I kissed him back by gently brushing my lips on his. Lavi wrapped his arms around me, never wanting to let go. He then spoke, "Yuu, I read in a book that quoted 'something can be found when there's nothing lost. And, I think you found me when I was never lost, but alone. I held him tighter, and said, "Baka, I find you as many times as I need to." Lavi started to laugh. This laugh was very diffrent from his other ones. This laugh was full of bliss!"So, I really don't want to be a mode-killer but what happens after this?" I looked at him and said, "We don't tell anyone about 'us' just yet. And, WHat happens after this is that 'you' become _mine_!" He looked into my eyes with his eye and said, "I won't have it any other way, but we have one little problem." "And, what is that?" i asked dumb-founded. "What happened to timicampy? That flying sushi-ball recordes!"Crap. If I don't get to that retarted flying thing then I am scerwed!! "Hey, Usagi, do you have enough strenth to go golom huntting. Lavi smiled and nodded. We had but one mission: Kill, I mean erase the memory on timicampy or were fried chicken! (did they even have fried chicken back there in the old days??)

After an hour of golom hunting:

"Where in the hell is that cannary??God. WHen I gwt my hands on it I am going to ripp it to shreds" I told Kanda to calm down or he might scare it away form the face he was making. he could make an old man cry if he stared at them long enough. the only question is" where did timycampy go??

Allen:

Today has been so boring...I am here in my room with leenalee, kroy, and miranda and I am still bored. They were playing truth or dare. I sat this round out because last time, Leenalee made me go running to the cafiteria, IN MY BOXERS!! Man. She can be really evil sometimes. So yeah that whats been going on here, boredum. I haven't seen timycampy so I was looking around the room for him. Then, there was a sooft knock comming from the door. Miranda opened the door to find timicampy! Timycamp then rushed to me, opened his mouth, and started to show an image. We all gathered around timycampy and started to see what was in the recording. It was just Lavi in a hospital bed and kanda sitting on a chair next to him. It looked really boring. That all change when leenalee( a.k.a yaoi lover like ourselfs) squeled. I knew only two thing that made her squel: one, she sees an adorable kitten, or two, she..sees..yaoi. I knew that there wasn't going to be a kitten, so what wa sit? I looked at timycampys recording and almost chocked. Kanda Yuu, the Kanda Yuu, was kissing Lavi!! How the hell did that happen? And, this wasn't any peck at all ethier, it was a 'deep' kiss! I never knew he had it in him. With lavi, I am just shocked that he's _gay_! Lavi was mostly cheeking out women then paying attention. Would you expect a guy that was _always _flirting with girls? I would take that as a no! Kroy was on the floor in the fetal position, Leenalee was blushing and squeling, and Miranda fainted. I am not putting this opreatunity down. It was time to black mail Kanda and Lavi. This is not going to be such a boring day after all!

Back to the hunt!!(that is pointless now hunting but they don't know that)

Damm. Where did he go. Me and Kanda were close to Allen's room searching. NO corner was left unlooked! Kanda And I were walking to yet another corner when we bumbed into someone. we looked who it was, it was Allen and..and he had timicampy _on his head_! Allen was looking at as evily, kinda of like when he's playing poker. That scared me even more.

Allen pov

Lavi looked scared for some reason, thats good. I graved timycampy and said, "Mind explaning, because now I have Leenalee asking me questions on what to but in her yaoi mang that she is drawing because of you. Its worse then kmouirin!! Lavi and Kanda just blushed knowing that more people knew. I wonder how their going to get out of this one!!

**Please review, I need you support please!! **

**どうぞ-means please- **


	5. Never Came Down

Allen:

So, what was my plan for getting back at these two for calling me, moyashi, bean-sprout, chibi ect... you'll just have to find out.

After, I sid what Leenalee was asking me, they were blushing like mad mans. Kanda semed to be the most emmbarresed!! After spending so much time with Kanda, I would have never thought Kanda could blush. A momment passed and eveything got quiet. All of a sudden i felt something cold on my neck. when I looked down I saw Kanda's sword pointed to my neck. I flinched, as he said, "If you tell ANYONE about what you just saw then don't expect to have a mouth in the morrning because I will expecualy slice it off!!" I could guess he was pissed off. I was an expert on gambiling and this was deffently a gamble: my revenge or my mouth! As a pro I made the obious desicion. "Hey Kanda,Lavi, I won't tell anyone about this." I said evily innocent. "Aw than..." the red head was happy untill I finished my sentence. "Unless, you two are my slaves for the whole entire week! And you guys will have to answer Leenalee's yaoi questions, do we have a deal??" I swear I was acting way to evil, but It was just too much fun!! Lavi then started to wispear in Kanda's ear. Kanda was twitching and nodding. Kanda the spoke grabing my shirt in his fist, "Okay, you asshole, we will be your slaves and answer Leenalee's questions for a week, but you better fuckingy keep your promise about not telling anyone, got that. " I only smiled and nodded. Kanda was looking like he was about to gag. This was going to be a fun, fun day indead!!

Lennalee, Krory, Mrianda at Komiu's office: Leenalee

After what I found out about the two 'love birds' I couldn't wait to tell, her bother. I made a little bet with her brother that Kanda liked someone, Komui just said that was the craziest idea he had ever heard. So...I bet fifty dollers that kanda was in love, and komui bet fifty dollers he wasn't. I just knew I was going to win this bet, I just knew itsquel!! Now, Kroy, Miranda, and I are at my brother's office going to explain to him that I indead won the bet."Brother," I said, "Time to cough up your fifty dollers, I won" "Won what?" "Won the bet, silly!" "Which bet?" "The one that Kanda liked some one!" He.. didn't say anything. he just dropped his pen and fell backwards on his seat. I ran to him and started to poke him."Brother so, where are the fifty dollers?"I asked. "K-k-k-anda l-l-likes someone? WHO!!" "Try to guess!" "NOooooooo, he has fallen in love with my sweet sweet sister. He is going to pay, where is my Komurin!!" "Brother, he hasn't fallen in love with me, hes in love with L-A-V-I"Now he was lost for words. I just giggled and said, "If you don't belive me, then call them in and ask them." "Okay, but this is still very, very weird. REEVER, go call Lavi, Kanda, and Allen, now!" Reever just grumbled because me was my brother's dog in some sort of way and said, okay. I was still wondering why he called Allen though, he wasn't apart of this.

Lavi, Kanda, Allen: Lavi

We were there at the caffiteria wondering what Allen was going to do. Allen reminded me of that time he was playing poker with those guys on the train. He gave them no mercy just like us. Allen was over in the corrner of the cafiteria room thinking about what he wants us to do for the whole entire week!! This week, is going to be worse then hell itself. Kanda was right there next to me eating his soba noddles giving everyone a death stare if they dare look at him. I really don't know why, but he looked pretty damm sexy doing it. All of a sudden, Reever came bursting out throught the door calling me, the sexy thing next to me, and the devil himself. Kanda looked irritated that he couldn't finish his soba and then he said, "Why the fuck does Komui want us?" "Well, I really don't know( he knows, but he doesn't want to be killed by kanda though) Komui just said to bring you guys in, and why does Allen have that creppy face?" Allen said, with an innocent look again, "What evil face?" Reever just knew that this day wasn't going to end well!!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Miranda, Reever, Komui, Leenalee, Kroy, and Timicampy: Leenalee

We were all waiting for the love couple to come in and allen, when reever came in. He wasn't alone, he had the people we were waiting for. This was going to be fun, because I am a yaoi fan of course! Kanda looked pissed off, lavi was well lavi, and allen looked to happy for some reason. Kanda then said, "Okay, Komui what the fuck do you fucking want?" "Well, I made a bet with my sister and I need you to say if it is true or not." "What the hell do you want me to say, you dipshit?" "Well, I heard from my little canarys over there(points at leenalee, mirand, and kroy) that you love lavi, is that true?" Kanda just looked at me and the others with a super pissed of face, giving us the death glare, and my brother just waiting for an answer. lavi then spoke, "H-h-how did you find out leenalee?" "Timicampy!!" Kanda then got Allen by the shirt and said, "You fucking said you wouldn't tell anyone you fufing son of a bitch!!" "Accually Kanda, I never told them, Timicampy showed them, and it was before we made the deal!" Kanda then graved his sword and said, "You fucking sly little biych, you scamed you you asshole!" "No, me? I would never do that. I kept my promise and now you have to hold you your end of the rope." Allen said that way to innocently, it freaked me out.

Allen:

And, then the games begin...

**Please review chapter and story so far, please!!**

どうぞ

Kenpachi-sama loves you all!!


	6. Because of Yuu

Kanda: in komui's office blushing so hard he would make lavi's hair jelous

Shit, shit, shit, shit **SHIT!!** How the fuck did this happen? Okay, lets see, Allen scamed us, Leenalee wants to draw us (weird), komui is asking if I'm in love with lavi, and oh, the worst part, everyones here. Crap. I swear one day I am going to see the insides of Allen. "So kanda is it true?" the bitch Komui said with a gleeful look on his face. It almost made me gag. I was to shocked to answer. I turned to Lavi but he was to horrified of the upcomming events. There was no hidding it now, they had the shitting proof so I had to tell them. "Fucking, asshole, dammit!! Fine its fucking true and if you don't belive me, thin ..." I said this knowing all too well that it would hurt lavi's feelings if i didn't say this well so I did thing I know to do. I graved lavi by the shirt, put my hand on his back, and out lips meet. Oh, god Komui's face was in shock, leenalee was squeling, Miranda and kroy fainted, Allen was snikering, and lavi was enjoying the kiss. when we broke the kiss, lavi wispeared in my ear, "thank you, yuu" in the most sexy suducive voice. And, he knew he was doing that! i looked at Komui(he looked like he was going to have a sezire) and told him, "That enough proof for you?" the tone i used was too serious!!

Lavi:

Oh, my god!! I can't belive, Kanda, accually did that in front of everyone. Man, everyones face are hillarious!! Its like they saw the Earl in a las vegas showgirl outfit. after the staring contest was over, Komui looked through on of his draws. I didn't even knew he had one, and i have good memory!! WEIRD!! There in his hand he hand a fifty doller bil and gave it to leenalee. Wait, did they have a bet about us. Grat, its like the whole order is going to find out about this!! Crap. I forgot about panda jiji he is going to kill me. Then hes going to bring me back to life and give me a whole speach about not falling in love. I swear that old shrivled raisin is as cold as an icecream in winter. that reminds me, I wanted icecream. and, I wanted to shoq Yuu how many thing you can do with icecream. Hehehehehehe.

Allen: on the brink of everyone exiting Komui's office.

So everyone got to see the happy couple kiss up close and personnal. It was kind of wierd to see that but they do look happy. but, I am not forgeting the deal they made with me, so I said, "Lavi, Kanda, your not forgeting the deal you made with me? You prommised to be my slaves for an entire week. And did not blab about anything. Sooo, we are starting right now!" i gave them both a bag, and we all got out of Komui's office. Kanda and lavi looked through the bags with shocked faces. Even the cold blooded snake had an expression of shock. What was inside the bags were...FRENCH MAID OUTFITS!! Yes i am evil, now they are not ever going to call me those stupid nicknames again. "You guys will be wearing those outfits and addressing me as Master Allen!" After that I gave them a smirk of satisfaction. I knew kanda was going to kill me for this, but i coulkdn't resist. And, I know that Kanda and lavi never go back on there word. "All- I mean Master Allen do we have to put on the outfits now?" "I nodded with an innocent look. Kanda just growled at me and they went to go change in their outfits. This is going to be SWEET!!

Lavi:

I am going to kill allen for this!! A french maid outfit, come on is he trying to tourcher us or something? There is only one beifit about this, i get to see kand in a dress. I have to make sure I take pictures of this! Me and kanda stormed of to kanda's room to go put onour rediculus outfits. When we were in kanda's room something suddenly pushed my back to the wall. Kanda then said, "So, lavi we never got to finish what we were going to do in the hospital room" "What were we going to do?" I asked stupidly.**(Some a little rated m in this part but not alot)** "This!" Kanda pushed his lips to mine. It felt so good, but then kanda's hand was some where it was not supposed to be. Kanda's hand was strocking my erection stoftly. It felt so good and I knew where this was going. Kanda then bit my lip, egarly awaiting for an entrance. I obayed like a good little bunny, for now. we broke apart to get some air, then I said in a sudicive tone, " So what are we going to do now, Master?" That just pushed kanda over the edge. He pushed me on the bed and said in my ear, "Whatever master wants to do!" Then he liked my ear that made me compleatly go hard. Then...

To be continued...


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